Last entry for the month of Jan

I am back with more today. Well, in a nutshell, these couple of days have been tremendous and awesome. With the preaching of the Word by Rev Kong Hee, I have been wonderfully blessed by the Word Pastor preached.

The message for this week was on the "The four Direction of Faith" This sermon was realy awesome that it left me thinking and pondering for awhile.
The points were taken from the verse from Ephesians 3: 17- 20, which is similiar to what's spoken in Isaiah 54: 2

Isaiah 54: 2 talks about enlarging/ stretching/ lenghtening and strengthening. Compared to Ephesians 3: 18, which talks about the Width/ length/ depth and height.

1. Height: Have Faith in God
   - Trust in God in ALL situations.
   - Know that He is a HUGE God and that NOTHING is impossible for Him.
   
2. Dept: Have faith in myself
   - To believe that I can be the person whom God wants me to be and that I can do all things for He is a GREAT, MAJESTIC King who DESERVES ALL GLORY/ HONOR/ POWER AND PRAISES.
   - Know who I am in God and how He views me as. Am I still a sinner/ failure before His eyes or am I a Saint/ victor in Him?
   - It also refers to Ultimate security
   
3. Width: Have faith in Others
   - Trust in others that they too can do it. If one is able to do it, why not you?
   - Jesus had faith in us that we will be changed and be better. If He never have that faith, then why would He die for us on the cross?
   - If Jesus did not have fith in us that we would also do miracles and heal the sick/ blind/ lame/ raise the dead, why was the command given to us that we are also able to do it?
   - Why would Jesus command us to preach the gospel to the ends of the world if He did not have faith in us that we would do it? For fun?
   
4. Length: Have Faith in My Future
   - Know that God have a good and perfect plan for us. It takes faith to believe what is unseen. Just like what Apostle Paul said, what profits us if we can see it? If we can see it, then we cannot have faith in it. Meaning that if we already see it, it's no longer a faith/ believe that such and such exist but it's a fact, not faith.
   - Have faith in God that He wants us to be the head and not the tail, above and not beneath.

Awesome isn't it? Some of the words, was not preached by Pastor but I enforce and modified some parts. However, it speaks about more or less the same thing. :)

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Oh yes, this entry will be the last entry for this blog. I understand that we are allowed a certain limit to our blog and as this is my journal, I would like to be able to view it as time pass. I want to keep it as a memory.

So, if you want to read more of it, do go to the end of the page, there's a link to my blog for the new year... 2005 Feb onwards. Do continue to support me.. Ciaoz...

http://cal-in-2005.blogspot.com/

Monday till today...

Well, it's been sometime since I've last written anything here. So, here it goes... Let's start with Monday, the gathering with some of the ex-classmates whom I knew from Bible school...

I had a wonderful time being with Davin, Jordan (and his wife to be) and Andy. All of us had dinner at Cafe Cartel, at Plaza Singapura. It was the first time Jordan and Andy came to join any outings I organized for the group of students in SOT (School of Theology) 2003. Though, this time, the number of people who turned out was not as many as before, it was nevertheless, a wonderful outing. I enjoyed it. I was able to meet up with them and at least get to talk and fellowship with them. Being a friend is what this means. I am thankful to God that they were able to make it though I wasn't feeling very well.

Also, this is the last monday Davin is spending his time in Singapore and he will be flying over to Aussie the next week's monday. I'm thinking of seeing him off... *Looks at right leg* Sigh... I'll see how things goes...

Actually, nothing much happened these couple of days as I was resting at home most of the time. I was also down with cough, flu, sore throat and fever. I was supposed to teach tution to Calvin(a primary two student) but I don't wanna spread the sickness to him. Sigh... I guess I've caught these via JingJie when I went to Church last week. H was seated besides me and was blowing his nose off... It amazes me that he did not blew his nose till it drops... Wahaha... *Opps, I'm being BAD*

This morning, I woke up at about 4am, to watch the match between Manchester United and Chelsea. Well, I'm sure you've known the result of the match. Yes, Chelsea won but it was really a good match. If only that Howard did not look in awe of the free kick, kicked by Duff, the match would have had a different turn.

Anyway, I will still support Manchester United, regardless of what the results would be. I'm not after the fact that they are the champions or whatever. Just that I like the way they played and how they would defend and attack.

Went down to Singaapore General hospital to have my cast changed and stitches taken out. Yes, verily soon, I can walk and "fly" again. Man, I really missed walking fast... A pace where I would feel like I'm driving at top speed whenever I walk.

The nurses (male) are funny. Joked and made fun while at work. They seem so happy to be there and pressure free. Especially that indian nurse. He's so funny. Always bringing a smile to others in the ward. The other time, they pasted two stickers on my cast. This time, they stick like crazy... They stuck SIX stickers. 3 bears and 3 Ninja turtles. Gosh... I feel like I'm getting younger... No longer 27 but... 2+ 7... LOLX...

Faith comes by hearing...

It's only 2:35 right now but I was listening to the bible from the book of Matthew to right now, Book of Acts.

While listening to the audio bible, somehow, I felt convicted and moved by the Word of God. Ok, I was multi-tasking but my attention was mostly upon the word of God...

Even while having lunch, I had a revelation from God. That He is the source of everything. Yes, it may seem old but this is not a new revelation except that while listening to the Word, I almost burst into tears. This was because my parents and siblings were yet saved. I really want to see them saved but... I'm not sure when this will happen but I am not going to give up praying for them.

Besides that, I felt very grateful unto God for revealing this and for convicting my heart. Even while eating, I felt so grateful... Unto God that I do not need to worry about what to wear, eat, drink etc... I felt that I ought to live like the Children of Israel, while they were in the wilderness, depending upon the manna from God daily.

See, the Children of Israel depended upon God when Moses led them out of Egypt into the promised land. It was during this time, the time of Exodus that they were being provided for by God.

I admit this, that my parents are facing alot of difficulities now. Primarily, in the area of finances and in the business in the market. (They once reject and disallowed me to pray for them when business were getting better. I wanted them to know that it is God Who made it possible but... they... Are unable to see...)

I am pretty sure that business went bad due to the rejection. This was because it happened the very day they rejected the idea that I got some of my members to pray for them...

Anyway, felt led to write this as I am very thankful and grateful unto God for providing me and my entire family with our daily food. I really pray with all my heart, mind and soul that my parents and siblings will be saved. Also, that they would be blessed by God, least they work so hard... In vain...

This is heartache to me. It pains me to see my parents wake up at 4:30an and go to the market to work from morning 5am- 1pm. Then my mum would rush home to prepare lunch/ dinner till around 2pm, then take a nap and wakes up at 3:30pm to work in NTUC. After work in NTUC ends at around 7-8pm, she would come back and prepare dinner and then sleeps at 11:30pm. While my dad, who works in the night-shift from 8pm- 4:30am. (cause he rushed home to help out) This is HARDWORK!!! I feel the pain, frustration and anger within my dad as he's frustrated at his work place. He puts his heart into work only to be rewarded by criticisms and unhappiness from his collegues.

What's wrong with humans nowadays? When they get a job, are they paid to work or are they paid to slack/ sleep at work? What's wrong with working and doing what you are supposed to do when you are paid? What is wrong with their mind? My dad do train up people from time to time, being one of the (if not,) the best worker with great attitude, to do their jobs. When they have learnt their jobs, they turned their backs from the master. The one who taught them... This happens not once, but so many times in my dad's life. Some, even wanted to plot against his life...

I am not a racist. However, these people, whom my dad trained, were mostly, from a certain ethical group. It's alright for them to scold/push one another (for work) but when they seat at the table, eating, they get together again and seems like nothing happens while when my dad told them that they are to complete their jobs, they treat my dad like an enemy. These are sheer racist... :(

Goodness, kindness and presence of Almighty God

Today has been an awesome day for me. From the time I woke up till now... I feel so happy, favoured, blessed and protected by God.

My first lesson with Ron was rather hilarious as he came to my place... empty handed. As I have not bought any assessments for him, I asked him to go buy one for himself. Which I thank God he did. From what I've observed, he's a little lazy in wanting to do maths. A form of unwillingness to think that extra mile and felt that he don't really liked maths.

Anyway, I was really awesomely (if there's such a word) BLESSED today. Not that I am financially blessed or whatsoever but that FINALLY I am able to be back in Church. My heart leaps for JOY to be back in the House of God, where I can really be in the place where Angels descends and ascends to and fro heaven and earth.

Today's Word was awesome... Now I realized the importance of going power-house and what's the reason behind it. It's never to show how pious one is, how Godly/ religious/ how talented/ on fire for God are you but it's an attitude and to understand/ recognize that that is the HOUSE OF GOD, where Angels hear prayers, bring up to heaven and submit to God our "daily/hourly reports" but also a place where God speaks to us, gives us visions/ dreams/ desires which are GREATER and BIGGER than what I can think or imagine of.

The members in Church, cell members, ushers and everyone in Church were very helpful and kind. They offered to help and walk the extra miles. People like Ron, ChengHao, Xue er, Jason, Bro Colin Lim, Sister Gillian, Lawerance, Adrian, JingJie, Rickson, Frankie and various others really touched my heart someway or another (My beloved cell members too). Nevertheless, I know one thing, God is the source and ultimate giver of all these blessings poured into my life. I am eternally grateful and glad to God forever.

Regardless how things turn out to be for me today, I will still pledge my heart to God, Almighty. In John 3: 16, it's written that "For God so loves the world that He SENT His BELOVED SON, to die for us when we were yet sinners."

Just this passage alone speaks a great depth and deal. This passage alone won my heart!

Had a wonderful time in Church and I enjoyed every single moment in Church today. I felt an openess in my surroundings. People who seems not to care about me, began to shower concerns and love towards me... I am really overwhealmed and am touched. I am really eternally grateful unto God.

I can really sing with ALL my HEART, SOUL and Spirit that I am eternally loving God. I want to love Him MORE even when I am not doing well. It's not about the returns and blessing but He is worthy and is always my God!

First Cell of the year

Well, you've gotten it right! I attended cell group and it's the first for the year! Yup, was excited about it. Talk about a fish getting back to the waters man...

I never expected Cheng Hao to come and pick me up as I thought it's a normal school day but learnt that its a holiday today! So, Cheng Hao came with GuiSheng to pick me up for cell. Man, am I excited... Feel so happy to be able to get out of my home, to go to where I want... To where God's presence can be found. (Of course, I can have the presence of God even at the comfort of home but it's a total feeling to be with a group of believers who loves God and worshipping God together. It's really different)

After picking me up, we set off, to Sister G's cell but before, one more thing yet done, to pick up Charles. It's been sometime since I last saw him...

Charles, a former PTI, studying in Australia now, back on vacation. Well, I think those who have been in cell group for sometime, misses Charles and well, finally, we are able to be "reunited" with him! Glory to God!

Man, he's like getting darker... (maybe I am just being too fair, owning to the lack of getting under the Sun) Sigh... Anyway, this time round, when I went cell, I was like treated like a VIP, due to my cast but I don't want to be so special. I just want to be with them, to be the same as them and to be seated at the same level. I appreciate the kind acts but I really miss cell and don't want to be made special... Or to be treated differently...

Today's cell group could possibily be the longest cell group I've ever had since I came back to God. From 5 to about 9pm... It was wonderful to be fellowshipping with the rest of the cell and I was glad that my Spiritual life did not go on a holiday mood during the holidays. Instead, I felt I am much more on fire for God... :)

The members in cell were so nice to me. I sense a change in their attitude towards me and felt that they missed me for sometime. Wahaha... Shameless me... Anyway, was really happy and glad to be back in cell group and am looking forward to going back to Church tomorrow. I believe it'll be an awesome time spent back tomorrow.

Today, members like GaoWei, Alex and Aderline came for cell group. Especially, GaoWei, man I was glad to see him there. Oh ya, Adrian and Jessica also came for make up, it was great. Oh yes, special guest "star guitarist", our beloved leader's hubby, Bro ZhiYong played well and man, he have powerful vocals. Awesome... The entire cell's Spiritual atmosphere was not too bad. I like it. I felt God smiling at me today. It was great... I want to see Him and to experience more and more for Him. Man... I am hungry for His presence and more encounters with God...

Though, not the entire cell was present today but I was also happy cause it seems like a happy family and that I felt that we have already multiplied.

I was expecially inspired by a couple of things during the cell. First, the word of wisdom God gave upon Sister G and the confirmation of God's word to the cell group from me were also confirmed by Charles. I really hope to bring the entire cell to another level. Not by my own strength but through prayer. To see people like GaoWei, Alex coming back to Church and especially cell and the want in them to be on fire for God.

The most inspiring moment was the message read out by Sister G from Pastor Kong about the journal. I am ready and excited also for the fact that this year's cell group recruitment is going to be tougher and that if the leader's being chosen, then he/she will be personally discipled by Pastor Kong. I am LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

I want to be discipled and be moulded by God, through the hands of Pastor Kong. I see flashes of what things will be for me in the future to come... (To preach the word, a world class preacher in the mould and likes of Rev Kong, Rev Ulf Ekman, Apostle Paul etc...)

Spiritual Attack

I realized one thing. Whenever I don't play any worship/ praise songs, I get some form of attack Spiritually. It's strange yet true. I am beginning to suspect something is wrong in my room but am not sure where.

I have dedicated the entire room into God's hands. I am sleeping alone in my room but what is going on? I have been walking rightly before God for sometime now. I wonder... I cannot take any chances, not to be super spiritual but I think God showed me something while I was asleeped earlier...

Someone "wrapped" around my entire body, trying to suffocate me. It feels like a bear hug, only that it is trying to squeeze the life out of me. I suspect it's in my cupboard... Need to do some delieverance to my room. Sigh... How? I mean, I am still in a cast... Argghhh...

Funny thing was that, when I tried to break free, I was not able. Instead the grip tighten on me. When I got rather frustrated, I almost woke up but can't seem to break free. Something strong yet, not stronger than Jesus is doing something unto me...

If I am not wrong, I believe it is the power of prayer. Especially the past couple of night and day's of prayer and worshipping. Binding the powers that is stopping my parents and sblings to Christ. If I am not wrong, I think they are being tortured by me and feels threatened by me. Especially when I prayed ferverntly to God to ask God to help me and anoint me... To led my parents and siblings to Him... Hehe... This must be it!

As I recall, I was even tempted into lustful thoughts and even getting frustrated easily. Not a normal me who would lose my cool. Yes, something is happening around the Spiritual atmosphere in my home. Glory to God!

Now, next problem I have to get rid is to get rid of the messed up rest timing I have been having. I have enough! I am not going to wait till wee hours and keep late nights anymore. NO MORE LATE NIGHTS AND NO MORE SUPPERs or MEALS after 8pm!

Oh yah... These few days, I have been messing up with my computer. Cause it suddenly died on me and I need to load and unload, download and delete alot of stuffs. I thank God that my com's been running smoothly from yesterday till now. I do hope that nothing else will grow wrong now. Especially my data... Precious datas from SOT... My lessons etc... Cannot... Must save and protect it...

Gosh, it's about 2:30pm now. Am getting sleepy now... :( Cannot... Must endure...

Design T-Shirt

Have been entrusted to do some designing of t-shirts by Sister Gillian. Its so exciting. Need something funky and something cool... Something which will remind cell members and something which will catch attention and in a way, play a part in reminding members that we must keep the fire and passion for God going on and on...After drawing some designs, I stopped. Looked and was rather pleased with the entire product. However, a few day's work... Only three drawings/ designs? No way man. I am not going to stop there and rot.The design must not be too casual. It got to be cool, classy, eye catching, majestic and stands out from crowd. YES! I think that is the design. Hehee... when I have the time, I'll upload the pictures... :)Am so pleased!!! It looks so... ermmm... nice? Lolx... anyway, unable to color all the thing as the entire background of the t-shirt's suppose to be black...

How does it look?